Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
pray to the hookup gods
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize