this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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