apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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