I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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