Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
