i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize