At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
