So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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