Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dicks are not precious.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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