Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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