so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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