his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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