i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
