How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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