I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
