Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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