We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
