...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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