When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
