I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
