We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
