What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
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You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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