You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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