While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
