I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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