I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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