what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
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