he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
