Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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