Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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