Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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