I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
