if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
