BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
