North Korea, Best Korea!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
