Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
