We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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