so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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