would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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