FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
