How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
