I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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