I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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