Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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