i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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