Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
