haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
