Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
