dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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