Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
