Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
