i just wanna soil my oats bro
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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