He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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