Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
