There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
