They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
