She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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