1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
