So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
