lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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