I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
