Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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