i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
