another moral hangover. fuck.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
