I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
