I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
